If I were a bus driver, I would develop a whole new system as far as the loading and unloading of children. Granted, I probably wouldn't be employed for long by the bus company... here's a glimpse of how my career as Marcus Fletcher, Bus Driver would be:
To start off the year, I'd want a newsletter or flyer sent to the homes of children on my route. This informational sheet of paper would explain ways to make their child's ride to school more efficient and safe.
- Feed your child before the bus approaches you to pick up your child. Better yet, feed them before you leave the house. As I'm opening the door of the bus is not the time that you try to shovel a bowl of Fruit Loops down little Johnny's,Rakim's or Pablo's throat. Let 'em go to school hungry one day... it won't kill 'em. And they'll wake up when told to the next day, I guarantee it.
- As I'm opening the bus door is not when you try to finish doing Susie, Adija or Isabella's hair. I've actually seen mothers motion for the driver to wait as they finish braiding! You and your child will be left.
- If you have to scream to your child more than once, "I love you"... you probably don't. You just want people to hear you say it. So, stop wasting my time and let your kid get on the bus!
- And kids, when you get on the bus SIT DOWN!! Quit walkin' up and down the aisle lookin' for some special seat. It's a yellow bus! All the seats are uncomfortable!
- And here's a no-brainer... Be at the Bus Stop on time!! I have high school students who say, "I'm late because the bus left without me." Man, please, if you were at the stop I'm sure you would've been allowed to get on ( unless you were being a jerk and got put off). And pull up your pants and maybe you could board the bus like a human being and not a penguin! I think I'd be like the ice cream man. Remember when the ice cream truck would see you running for it and he'd slow down just enough to keep you running for it. You could do that with the school bus too, LOL!!
- Parents... 7:10 in the morning is not a good time to try to strike up the conversation, "So how's yo mama and them?!" Nor is it the time to try to recap last night's game. Toss your child on the bus and let me go. I'm tryin' to get them to school and off the bus before the sugar from the cereal they had this morning kicks in!
- Any kind annoying behavior gets you put off of the bus. Examples: Horse play, rappin without lyrics of any substance, stripper dancing, gambling, fighting (the loser gets put off), touching one another (the first step to pregnancy) talking to me, looking at me, breathing on me, touching me, oh yeah, and talking to me.
- Finally, parents you know your children and what they are like. If you have to or want to slap them in the mouth when YOU'RE in the car with them... what makes you think that OTHER PEOPLE don't want to do the same? So, please don't come to me with that confused and or upset tone of, "Why did he/she get put off the bus?" You know why... and now you get to transport him or her to and from school for a few days. Or better yet home school him or her for a few days. I'm sure after that he'll/she'll behave on the bus.
By following these simple tips your little Jimmie, Laquesha, Abdulah, Miguel, Sally and Indra can arrive to school in the timeliest/safest manner. Thus, making it possible for them to get the best education possible.
Your friendly bus driver,
Marcus Fletcher
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